How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize