I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize