she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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