Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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