Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
