I bet he comes in French.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
