I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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