I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
