Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize