You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize