Just took my morning after pill in the library
two words: eviction party
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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