tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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