And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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