If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
