just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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