For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Drake has all the answers
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
