who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize