It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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