Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
