These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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