i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
In America we eat man semen.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
