me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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