I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
