So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We have so much sex to catch up on
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
