one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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