So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
