My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
