turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
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