i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
