I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
