I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My vagina is officially offended.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
