evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
