this just has baby written all over it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
