I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
