dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
