he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize