Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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