...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
