Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
