check it out our google latitudes are spooning
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
