So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
