Soap is not a condiment
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
