It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
