Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
