I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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