You're my little dorito
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
there was a trapeze. enough said
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
