i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
