gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Randomize
