it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dicks are not precious.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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