i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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