normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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