I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
