We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
