Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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