You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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