I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
