i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
