I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
