Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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