weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
