I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
