Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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