I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
