Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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